I am crazy

Using caffeine to drown out the echos in my mind, listen to music so I cannot hear the silence, the silence so haunting so foreboding I cant deal with it. Sleep with a TV on so I wont dream, cant dream, I refuse to dream because deep down I don't want my thoughts to effect my mental state. I know deep down I will reach some mental state of knowing what is there when I let my self be, but that's the thing, whats there is something I don t want to know. I bury it away underground so I can hide the shit that is there, writing anything I can to escape this reality, but not letting whats inside me out. I cant handle it.

Lyrics for "I Wish I" off my up coming EP

I wish I could help you
I wish I could make it better
I wish I had the power
I wish I had another hour
I wish that my wishes would come true
But they never seem to

I see you there in trouble x3
I really try to help
But I am helpless to help your helpless situation
So I am stuck here waiting for a reply dead scared
What you may do to yourself unknown
I just sit here, and I don’t even know your real name

I wish I could help you
I wish I could make it better
I wish I had the power
I wish I had another hour
I wish that my wishes would come true
But they never seem to

I know so many like you
Who dream and think like you
That self inflict like you
And I don’t understand
Is life such a big demand
Maybe I don’t know your story
Maybe its dark no glory
But I have seen the result

I wish I could help you
I wish I could make it better
I wish I had the power
I wish I had another hour
I wish that my wishes would come true
But they never seem to

No they don’t Yeah they wont, I cant do any thing at all

The New Political Party

We have to speak out now, we have to fight against these fools, calling them selves "Democrats" and "Republicans" we have to speak out now, before conservative radicals like the Tea Party become the immoral majority. We have to stand for whats right, the rights of the people, not the government.

I propose a new party that represents the interests of those who cant take it anymore. I will be 18 during the 2012 election, and between these politician whores, and liars, there is no choice for me. We must get a candidate on part of the Humanists, we cant take it anymore, as cowboy presidents, and weak minded fools take the office of president. A political system that doesn't lie to the people, that doesn't try to control their minds. Lets fight now, if you support this make your voice heard, on July 4th 2010 post blogs, videos, and editorials with the title "The New Political Party"

I No Longer Have Friends, and Couldn't be Happier.

I was talking to my last real friends I have, outside of my girlfriend, and her friends. We got talking about homosexuality, and they said some crazy things like "We should kill the gays" that sort of thing. I tried having a calm conversation with them, and they continued on their homophobic banter. At this point I couldn't take it any more and I told them to fuck off and never talk to me again.

Most people would be sad at even the thought of losing longtime friends, but to me, I was just cutting off dead weight. They didn't fit in with the environment I want around me. So I ditched them, it might seem petty to some but it is what I chose to do and couldn't be happier. I can make new friends any day, having to sacrifice my values to hang out with two assholes would ruin my life. So I lost my last friends, but maybe opened up my life to not having to be around that kind thing.

GOD HATES WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBEMEN

You see those god hates fags people had it wrong. God definitely loves homosexuals, its Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tubemen he hates. They writhe in their sin standing in front of car dealerships. It makes all to much sense, because Car Dealers are obviously devils, so that mean WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBEMEN being the tools of the devil, it is obvious that they are indeed, and most certainly what god hates.

People Rioting because of a Pop Punk band? New Found Glory and Saves the Day @ Reno Knitting Factory

Before I focus on where the show went terribly wrong I'll talk about the good of what happened that evening, and there is a lot to cover.

The first band up were Pop-Punk band Fireworks, Fireworks did a great job playing and really got the crowd stoked up. Their set wasn't long enough in my opinion. I would gladly see these guys if they come around again.

Then there was Hellogoodbye...I have to admit first that, I DON'T LIKE HELLOGOODBYE, but their set was good, and despite some early technical difficulties, due to their synth, they played a fun set. It was obvious the crowd was enjoying it, as did I to.

Then the reason I came to the show Saves The Day hit the stage, they literally played a 15 song set with out stopping and talking, which was needed after Hellogoodbye's frequent stops to fix their sound. Half way through the set a mosh pit started bye a couple of drunk girls, me, and a fat guy, became a really big and fun pit after more people joined in. It was my first real time being inside a mosh pit, but it was extremely fun. Saves the Day played every song I wanted to hear except Freakish. One of the last songs that they played that night was At Your Funeral, which was when the pit got a little to crazy, but still fun.

Here's where it starts to get bad. New Found Glory hit the stage to play their entire self titled album, and I was out of the pit area by then, after their 3rd song I decided to move over to the pit (because Chad Gilbert and Jordan Pundik of New Found Glory asked the crowd to start moshing), after 2 minutes of it, I get kicked, by a large Hispanic man, and decided, to sit back just behind the pit. I stood around for a couple more songs, when I saw the Hispanic man that was kicking start throwing punches, New Found Glory stopped the show for a second, told people not to fight...and then people fought.

It got its worse after that, the band stopped the show again, and started to scream "Fight outside" then started playing again. Following, that two people heading out the door started fighting in the door way, fights broke out at both sides of the stage, and a fight broke out in a little pocket formed out side of the circle pit. At that point security was engaged in one on one fist fighting, because their wasn't enough security personnel, I even saw 3 to 4 roadies come out to help security, the band finished their song and told people to stop fighting, played the whiniest version of Kiss Me they could, and we thought everything would be fine.

It wasn't, during the last song played, someone started skanking and moving their arms to a song, well, security got involved because they thought he was throwing punches, the band then stopped the show to tell the to let him go that's just how he dances, the crowd then started to swarm security due to egging on from the band, NFG finally caught their mistake and asked people to back off, that didn't work, so they walked off stage, the crowd settled down, Jordan tried coming back on stage his mic got cut off, and security told everyone to leave.

The Scariest moment for me was, when the big brawl happened and I got pinned between the separator for the reserved seating area, until I managed to kick a trash can that was blocking the way, I was stuck in that spot because security wouldn't let me through the reserved seating area, and the crowd was so rowdy and thick I couldn't get out the other way.

Cops and a firetruck showed up, and it all could of been avoided. The Knitting Factory should of never allowed drinking on the all ages floor, the band should have asked for people to mosh, and security should have been double. Should, Could, Would, but didn't.

In the end we got 4/5ths of a show, 3 and a half great sets, and we had some fun. Such a shame, the show had to end 30 minutes early, but i would gladly see, any of the bands again, except I will never see New Found Glory if they come to the knitting factory again, if they go to the New Oasis or The Underground, where security is much tighter, then I would.

An Open Letter to a Fromer Twitter Follower

Dear Follower,

Last night you insisted on arguing with me, when I tried to drop the subject like five or six times. You purposefully antagonized me, degraded my opinion, and then got furious when I sunk down to your level. I didn't realize why until, I looked at your track record. You like to get in arguments on twitter, and then be the victim. Instead of mentioning you by name, I will leave you anonymous so you don't have that power, that public voice, because I am stronger then you.

You called me a sexist, which was a low blow, and you know it. I would of disagreed with a guy making those statements. Not even that bothers me, I was just assuming you were a cowardice fool at that point, no the reason I am writing this blog is because the first thing you did, was tell all your followers, poor poor pitiful me, a man questioned my opinions. Well guess what it didn't have to do with your gender, it was all about your opinion, and the way you are acting.

So Follower, this is the last time I will comment on this situation peace love and flowers to all.

Late Night Ramblings that May or May Not Make Sense

So I sent a direct message to @hammyhavoc and while waiting for him to reply, I decided to watch some new found glory music videos, on Vevo, in doing this I noticed Rachael Leigh Cook was in the video for "Dressed to Kill". Now she is pretty hot, and I thought that she played Daphene the speedster from heroes, looked on Wikipedia nope she didn't apparently, it was this chick Brea Grant, so that was kind of shocking. I have no clue why I thought it was Rachael Leigh Cook, or why I was so sure to myself thinking it was her, but it was not I was wrong and I made a mistake.

That got me thinking about Heroes, and how Heroes was really good, and now it sucks, which is horrible because I really liked Heroes, until Season 4 started to bore me. I miss Heroes, but I personally don't think any networks can keep a show like that on the air, and it still be good, especially NBC with their track record. NBC has the syndrome of, WE HAVE A GOOD HIGH RATED SHOW...but despite it being #1 we don't think its mainstream enough. So NBC did what they did to ER and after good high rated seasons they made the show unbearable to watch.

That reminds me of what NBC did to ER, the First seasons of ER were good, I'd even say great. Then as the show progressed it got worse and worse, until John Stamos came aboard and gave the show a second wind. I have to say the last seasons of ER were awesome and I wish NBC wouldn't of ended it when they did, I'd love to see another 2 or 3 seasons of ER, maybe it will come back in a couple years after NBC gets so anally fucked by poor decision making they need more viewers.

Then there was Scrubs...

Scrubs is like the cockroach of shows, that rare show, that is unkillable. Don't get me wrong I love Scrubs and have been a fan since I started watching reruns in 05, but seriously, everyone has tried killing the show and it keeps coming back and back and back. Example NBC had been trying to cancel it since 2002, but it got moderate ratings so they left it until it finally started to get poor ratings in 07, then what happened? NBC tried canceling it, failed, and finally succeeded in 08 at canceling Scrubs...Until ABC picked it up, then Zach Braff said he'd only would do one more season and people were like "Now it'll get canceled" then Zach decided I'll do one more season after that and ABC was like sure, now ABC wants to run a season without Zach and test it out to see how it does. So my thing is I don't thing scrubs will end until its 200th episode.

Now how will the series end? Zach comes back to visit Turk and Dr. Cox, and for some reason he is with, Elliot. Everyone ends up going back and working for Sacred Heart, They celebrate at the bar they go to, Zach gives some monologue about how things may never change and the camera pans from Zach to the sky, and the theme song plays leading into the end credits of the last episode all like "I know that I'm no SUPERMAN"

Yeah and I'll have a tear in my eye, well not really a tear, a man tear. So its cool...WOW while writing this blog I got 100 followers on twitter...and @hammyhavoc still hasn't written me back. Well I am going to write some Follow Friday tweets, and go to bed, I love you guys and sorry for wasting your time going through my pop culture drool.

WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH M4A FILES

So I am half asleep sitting here, and my friend sends me M4A audio files without telling me. Now it is critical I open these files, problem is Windows Media Player crashes when I run M4A, VLC was refusing to play them, and nothing would work. Only one thing on my comp would play them, the Rahpsody desktop client...YES.

I may cus out rhapsody for failing to work on their website, mainly because it will refuse to give my 25 plays, for months at a time, or use my plays twice on the same song FOR NO REASON. I went from hating you Rhapsody, to love hating you.

Potcheen KILLED IT The Young Dubs not so much @Reno Knitting Factory

Okay before I begin to talk about how the bands played, I have to say the Reno Knitting Factory is the best small venue I have ever seen. I am under the age of 21 so I didn't see it all, but my dad really liked the 21+ balcony and restrooms. As for me, I enjoyed the All Ages seating and the all ages restrooms were, well CLEAN, you wouldn't expect all ages restrooms to be so clean, but they were. The only cons with the club were, the fact that when the lady at the door X'd my hands she pushed down really hard and it hurt, and the merch area for the bands was WAY to small.

Now we can talk about how the bands played..,

Potcheen the opening band for The Young Dubliners, had a great set, they played their own material, some old Irish folk songs, and some great covers of Come On Eileen, Drunken Lullabys, and Folsom Prison Blues. The covers they did were great, Come On Eileen really showed off the "fiddle" players talent, Drunken Lullabys got the crowd moving, and Folsom Prison Blues was even good, I thought they were gonna get booed off the stage instead they pulled off that Johnny Cash classic with a chick singer no less (she did really good by the way). Also I liked that the drummer could also sing, he was awesome as was everyone in this band. I really want Potcheen to come back to Reno, I think they deserve top billing next time they do.

Then there was the Young Dubs performance, while I'll be the first to admit that I am not the biggest fan of Irish folk style music, The Young Dubs set was boring. No energy until the last song, the folk songs they played that I KNEW were butchered, and in some cases they just sang the chorus over and over and over again. It was such a let down because Potcheen did so well, it got your hopes down to hear a boring set from the opening band. I heard someone say "What a shame" and then walk out during the Young Dubliners set, as a matter of fact I saw 50% of the crowd walk out. I will give them props for doing good on encore, but overall the Young Dubs were just boring.

I would love for Potcheen to come back to Reno, I really would, and I am sending this to their email in hopes that they read my plea. Everyone in Potcheen was nice, and everyone in the band came up to me after the set and said, hi or asked if I was having a good time.

The Reno Knitting Factory Venue website: http://re.knittingfactory.com/
The Young Dubliners Website: http://www.youngdubliners.com/
The Young Dubliners Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/youngdubliners
Potcheens Website: http://www.thepotcheenfolkband.com/
Potcheens Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/thepotcheenfolkband

Neil Gaiman @ replied me on twitter

So today started out like any other day. did my normal twitter BS, made some jokes sent some @ replies, then I tweeted the following to Mr. Neil Gaiman:

@neilhimself gives hope to geeks and nerds everywhere that they can nab someone like @amandapalmer

Then 30 minutes passes by and then I get this tweet from the famed comic book writer:

@ralasinchains and here was me thinking @amandapalmer gives hope to rockstars everywhere that if they are lucky they can nab their own geek.

Needless to say I love Gaiman's work with DC, but because of this @ reply I will have to switch from Team Kev to Team Neil, I am sorry Kevin Smith but your treacherous, time traveling, attempts to engage in a threesome with your wife and Amanda Palmer must be thwarted.

My day will be awesome no matter what happens today.